Saturday, November 14, 2009

Post 1: The Introduction

You know... for a long time I would see screen names saying things like, "The other half of my heart is in ___," and I always thought it was a rather sweet sentiment, but I guess I never fully comprehended what that meant until now.

In four days my boyfriend is being deployed to Iraq.

So, it seems strange to continue on without giving a back story. I met my boyfriend about three years ago. We were friends for a good long while, but have officially been an item for over a year now. A little while after we started dating he decided to join the Army. We wrote each other frequently while he was in basic, and we made trips to see each other nearly every month after that.

Prior to his joining -- even before I actually knew him or his plans to join -- I always supported the troupes. However, my way of support came in the form of wanting them to come home. My ideas of war always seemed to differ from others. This war in particular seemed strange. I've since asked my boyfriend several times what, exactly, the purpose was, and even he cannot give me a straight answer. The idea of 'fighting terrorism' seemed like a much wider goal than sending some men and women overseas to fight in an unwelcoming territory. Terrorism is everywhere. Even in our own country. Even from people who were born and raised here. So I admit, even now, I simply don't understand. However, his reasons for going make sense to me -- even if my own fears keep me wishing he wasn't even involved.

But I still support him. I love him dearly and it would be wrong of me to do otherwise. But instead of sitting and stewing privately I've decided to start this blog. There are two big reasons for this: 1. to vent my sadness, joys and fear. And 2. to maybe help someone else going through the same thing.

I've learned a lot from my boyfriend about this whole process, and the one thing that has resonated with me was his saying, "The Army doesn't care about girlfriends." But the one thing I know for a fact about myself -- and I am utterly convinced of other women and men in this particular situation -- is that despite our status, we still care. We love these people just as much as the wives and husbands. Given this, I think it's important that we share the good and the bad, and that we help keep each other aware, enlightened and strong.

I'm really not the type to do things like this generally. I've always kept certain things to myself. But I figured... this whole thing is different for me, so why shouldn't coping with it be a new situation as well.

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